Monday, May 7, 2012

Attempts to Uncover The Grand Unified Wingnut Fielld Theory

A little background. I was a Junior grade Astonomer growing up and learned my Messier numbers before I got to middle school and at the time harbored ambitions to study Cosmology or Astrophysics at MIT. Math got the better of me so for the short period of time that I was in college, I studied history, political science and psychology.

I have always retained an interest in science, particularly Astronomy and have never forgotton my first love Cosmology. Recently I came across a YouTube channel that featured Carl Sagan's "Cosmos" and have since re-watched them all.
I have also recently watched Burkes "Connections" and prior to that spent a few hours watching programs about string theory.

The programs about string theory reminded me of a walk across the park on the way home from High School, I was a Freshman or Softmore at the time, and I was riffing on the concept of Time travel and managed to independantly cough up the concept of the multi-verse. In any event, I take science seriously and while I don't have the chops for the high end math, I generally have a handle on the theory, which brings us to this point in space and time.

The day before yesterday while reading a post at Sadly, No! eviscerating (or would that be excoriating? both seem appropriate) a column (which come to think about it is an insult to the word column) by one Jim Hoft, the self proclaimed "Gateway Pundit" and possibly the stupidiest man alive who has not managed to "Peter principal" his way into the territory occupied by Doug Feith.

Anyhoo I coughed up a hairball of an idea which began thusly:

Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said, May 5, 2012 at 10:14

But didn’t you know that Ready was secretly a far-left dirty hippie Occupy protestor? I know because the Dumbest Man In Saint Louis said so.

Another from BJ. While dumbest man in St louis is accurate, one could argue that he is the most idiotic person who retains the capacity to string words together. I am pretty sure that my roomates cat Pippi (with her longstockings natch) has more going on upstairs than Hoft. The itch to leave the vessel for some quickly erased Jim like bitchslapping is strong. Futility be damned. *splash*
(I'll have to deal with bloggers latest implimentation of the blockquote and HTML at a later time) And so it begins.The italicised part above is a comment from Balloon Juice a pretty much daily read of mine and another blog that has a few bright people that hang out in the comments. The *splash* bit is to indicate that I have decided to get off the "boat" and either bring back snips from the "column" in question to mock, leave a comment, or bring something back from the commentariat (of the 17 people that might read this 15 are likely to know this shit already so the explanation is for the 2 who probably did not make it this far). So I went to Hoft's site and left the following comment, which I don't think ever made it past the "Goalie", (this is gonna kind of be a lengthy post so I hope that the three readers who have made it this far bear with me).
You guys know that shithouse rats have been laughing at you with impunity? Sure the niggity Nig Soshulist takeover of the country is a problem of great import, but really do we have to give the game completely away in search of a “villian” to identify so that each one of us can share in a bit of martyrdom? We don’t need to look too far, as Obambi has his hobnailed cloven feet on our necks and Holder is planning to pen us up in Fema CC’s. I mean there is tin foil, and then there is a requirement to purchase futures in Reynolds. We can do better than this.
I have to admit that i find the "hobnailed cloven feet on our necks" an inspired turn of phrase, even possibly one of the best i have coined all year. So at some point shortly after, inspired by Sagan and my love for Astrophysics, I cough up the following:
Provider_UNE_OwnerOfThreads™ said, May 5, 2012 at 15:04 Some of those commenters can’t have two brain cells to rub together. Wish that it were so, but most of them have the requisite number yet choose to imitate the cognisense of a single celled organism…Wait, I might not be looking at this in the right way, and you might in fact be correct. If fear is the mind killer, and I think we have an abundance of evidence to support that hypothesis, then the minimal number of neurons required to keep the lizard brain alive + 2 might come close to equaling one Hoft. In fact I think that the Hoft should represent a measure of somekind, like the Kelvin. Though I have not figured out whether it should measure a quantity of cognitive dissonance or a “black hole” causing a negative IQ. Suggestions will be welcomed. We have our Friedman unit, courtesy of Atrios. I see no reason that we should not have at the very least a Hoft and or a Geller or even an Earnest T Bass, aka a Heh Indeedy, to explain in scientific terms certain elements of wingnuttery. I Think a Geller shouold be the unit for Projection, a Hoft for stupid, and an ETB for smug self satisfaction. Anyhoo this is a start, I am open to options. TIA.
Thus at roughly 3 in the afternoon (Paris Time, which is where the Sadly server is hosted) began an adventure in space and time, all starting with the concept that a Unit of Stupid should hithertoo be referred to a Hoft.

I usually don't cross post my stuff, but thought that this kernel of an idea could benefit from some of the smart people I run into on the intertrons, so I put up a copy at Roy's and a modified version at Balloon Juice, which is where the fun really began. Along the way I have had some really good suggestions from people who will be attributed, and picked up a stalker...Tomorrow, later today or next week I will take up the story from here. And to the one person that actually made it this far, I salute you. :)

Anyway Roy has a new post up and that commentariat is filled with genius and I don't want to miss the fun. There is also breakfast to consider. Anyone who might want a sneak preview into the next episode of this little drama, would be advised to visit the comment left on the previous post.


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